Interlude

wow... 

back in Sweden for the time being. Mixed feeling really. I have wanted this. I still want it whenever I am in Kaunas but now that I am here... and I know that I will remain here for a while I just feel... like I am taking two steps back. 

Being used to being alone, independent and answering to no one but myself clashed with me being home with my family. Kurdish culture man... you can be fifty and you still have to obey your elders every command, now dont get me wrong; this isn't me complaining but me being.. whats the right word... damn I its slipping each time I get close to it. I will write it when I think of it.

So whats new? Lets see, its the whole being home again, taking a year off sorta, trust me. Damn that place is hard to live in. One would think that one would get used to it but nooo. No absolutely not.

The wind is blowing. The rain is pouring. The frost is here. Winter is Coming. *Cue GoT music*

Ahhhh GoT, love it. Weeellll. Love the books and love the show but the show sometimes makes stupid changes. I mean I like them well enough and I would probably be madly in love with the show if I hadn't read the books but its still brilliant!! 

-Haven't thought of the word. Goodnight! 

Third

Sleep, eat, work, sleep, eat, work, sleep, east, friends, sleep, work, sleep, eat, work, friends, eat.
Irregular but regular. That is life. You have this seemingly repeating pattern which keeps on going ans going (ie the purpose of "repeating") with these rare flukes that breaks out. Okay maybe I am going overboard and shit but that is what it feels like. My life is nothing but a series of repeating patterns. Coming back here for the summer is so different. I mean I love it, do NOT get me wrong but after living alone for a long while, with rules I put for myself and with no one to care for BUT myself...coming back here is just so... overwhelming.
It's not like I have a strict set of rules, of course not, my parents understand that I now am an independent and self-sufficient person but they still expect me to do things like taking care of my baby brothers, go shopping and etc. This might seem small and it probably is on a scale from one to ten, but it's just so different from what I have lived for the past six months.
And it's not only my parents either it's just the bus system, the clubs, restaurants. I just came from a place where the clubs close when the people starts to thin out, where the buses may stop early but the taxis are basically free and where the restaurants not only deliver to your house, but also 24/7 (well... some do). Culture differences that's all. I do prefer the Swedish culture... HELLO! yes.. Sweden over Lithuania any day but as I said... Lithuania got somethings right..... I feel like eating kebab... maybe I can convince my baby brother to drive me to Capri... 

-Happy and wanting kebab.

2.2

So, home at last. I cannot even begin to describe what a good feeling I get from being home. I haven't had a single palpation ever since I came home. Normally I wake up discomfort in my chest and comes and goes as it wished.
I feel asleep on the couch, with my head in my mothers lap. Of course then I woke up and my head was in my younger cousins lap instead. Gods... I fell asleep and apparently Hana and her sister tried to wake me up but  I was unmoving. Next thing I know I woke up bright and early, in my jeans and socks with a blanket thrown on me. I loved it.
My youngest brother then came down and laid next to me on the sofa and we slept for a little while longer. He just grows up so fast, the last time I saw him six months ago he was barely reaching up to the middle of my stomach and now... he is up to my chest. Now that is not a big feat mind you with my short 160 cm but to his defense he is only six and a half. Then I went up the stairs and wanted to ugly wake my brother.... he deserved it, he didn't give me a hug yesterday and was being rude. He has taken the whole dreaded-middle child too seriously, while in truth he is the best one of us. Well... best by a tiny, minuscule margin anyways. But of course I didn't wake him up, I am too good of a sister to do that.
No, instead I laid next to him and fell asleep again. Leading to my youngest brother to come in and wake us both up. Dang. Haha it was a good morning, as I said. No palpation. But as I writing this I am close to getting some. My brother and cousin who is the same age as him are combing my hair and fighting each other about the borer of which area is allowed for which kid. I just need to keep quiet. But it is getting harder and harder. Now they have decided that my hair should be in a pun. One word: PAINFUL.
So far I have had good food, had home-made carrot cake, walked around my house and the yard and let my hair be subjugated to the worst torture known to man. But I am home.

I never got the whole vodka is better the more expensive it is.... the way I see it you are still gonna mix it with smething, and when you are drunk enough you are gonna be stupid enough to shot it so why waste perfectly good money you can use in the club to buy a higher brand of vodka that tastes better in the end it all will end up in your system and liver to poison you with that said.... I will let you know how smooth this brand really is ;) 

Second.

Thank God for small favors.
Ever been so tired that you are afraid of sitting still for just a second, because if you do then you will instantly fall asleep? Or just lay off whatever thing that had you invested before. If you have, I feel you brotha! I am seriously running on fumes here. The only thing keeping me awake is the thought that in less than 30 min the cab will be here to whisk me away to the Heaven also known as the airport. Did you read that? A.I.R.P.O.R.T. I am finally going home!
...For barely two months. But hey, better that nothing, For the past four days I have slept 5 hours. And yes I do know that people sometimes like to blow things out of proportion like, for example, saying that they have only slept for five hours in four days but I kid you not. I said I was running on fumes and I am serious. Exams are over.... until August in case I failed any in which case means that this summer will be spent working and studying. Great.
Sometimes I worry about my future. Okay not sometimes.... most of the time. Is medicine for me?
I just,  there is so much out there, just waiting to be found and experienced, and dont get me wrong medicine is one hell of a way to live your life but is it really for me?
These feelings do not come over night and nor do they disappear over night either. Life is a funny thing. It's so grand and full of possibilities and yet so fragile and so easy to be taken away from you.
On other notes, my notebook is filled... again. Time to buy another one. As soon as I get my salary I will buy the notebook of my dreams. It's expensive and only 150 pages, but I want at least one of my notebooks to be... Posh. Oh God, I should name them based on how much they cost/how they look like. Basically do to them what I usually condemn the society for what they do to the individual. Stupid tyranny of the majority.

I will update again when I have settled at home. That I can promise.

-Happy, ecstatic and about to crash-land into the land of oblivion.

First (Reboot)

Okay, 

This is a reboot. As you can see i have names my entry first (again) but you can also tell that I already have a first entry well yeah. 

I haven't updated in over a year and to be honest i completely forgot that it existed but no more. NO MORE.

 Yes, that is from Doctor Who: The Day of the Doctor 50th anniversary. Deal with it. (LOVE IT!)

Anyways, summer is nearly upon us and I will update just because I need an outlet of something and who said blogging isn't a good place to go.
Three exams left for this semester, one tomorrow (procrastination) and two next week... soo expect some sort of update of the coming week (s). 


-Stressed, palpating and afraid to fail.

Twenty-second

Okay, so I may not be the best at cooking and I may not be the most active person on the planet but when the delivery guy from your favorite take-out restaurant says 'see you' and you respond in likeness one may come to realize that ordering out three-four times a week is not the healthiest life style. For you or your wallet. But living here in Lithuania comes with a big perk. Things are cheap, and comparing it to the loans and grants from the government in Sweden it's close to nothing. Well, if you only order out and not go and but whatever catches your eye. It's a close update but still better than nothing, I just had the sudden urge to post something and thought that food was a good subject as I just ordered food. The restaurant in question is called Gan Bei City and as you can tell from the name it's an asian place.

Hope you will enjoy your food as much as I will enjoy mine.
-Hungry, tired and self-reevaluating.

Twentyfirst

You know that you have reached the top of the lazy chain when you sit on your bed, realize that your need to charge you phone but your charger isn't plugged in and the plug at the end of the bed and not near you (top of the bed). This means that you have to move to the other side of the bed and plug it in, but instead of moving like a fucking normal person to save time and energy you start to stretch, knowing that your efforts are futile, all this while complaining to your roommate that you are too far away from the plug. Laughing she stands up from across the room in her own bed and actually helps you put the plug in....-.-  Yes, this is how you know that you have reached the top of the lazy chain people.
   Other news? Nothing much other than the fact that I think that I have found my calling when it comes to anatomy, namely the skull. While most people here finds it difficult to actually remember the different parts of the skull I find it relatively easy to do so. Some has the lower limbs or maybe even the vertebra or upper limbs... the skull is my domain. I can honestly say that i have barley studied and been there in my mind when it comes to the labs and lectures but I can still proudly say that I can answer all the questions the doctors/lecturers throw at me. yay.
   Looking for apartments for four people is hard. Even though some really nice ones could be found they are not available until next fall semester so instead we have decided to find a place with a bunch of free apartments (which surprisingly isn't that hard) the only hard part is to keep everyone happy about the price and location, I couldn't care less but apparently that's a huge deal for some. But whatever right?

Have a nice night
-trying to update more often.